Second Chances
by Free Bird
Summary: A former slytherin is brought back to Hogwarts with her child after an especially brutal beating by her husband. Will her former head of house and mentor be able to heal the wounds of the past?
1. The End of the Affair

Jess had just been getting Lucas ready when she heard it. From upstairs the crashing of the door swinging back on its hinges and hitting the doorframe sounded like the crash of thunder down in their kitchen. For a fleeting second Jess wondered if this was what Lilly Potter had felt like just before the Dark Lord had come barreling into Harry's bedroom and done her in with the killing curse. But she knew that David's wrath would be far worse for her than Voldemort's was for Lilly. David wouldn't kill her quite so quickly. He would be sure that she didn't die without some scars. Moving as quickly as she could Jess gathered up the nappies and scooped Lucas up in her free arm. Perhaps if she were holding him - their son, after all - David would be more hesitant to hurt her.  
  
No such luck. Seconds later David had thrown the door open. It had been locked, but no match for him. One well-placed kick had sent it booming against the wall of Lucas' bedroom and splinters of wood from the shattered frame flew out at Jess and Lucas, huddled underneath the picture window between the dresser and the crib.  
  
His eyes were wild and if he had been a wild animal he would have been foaming at the mouth. He had lost all semblance of the man that she had married. He looked left, then right, and spotted them immediately. Jess was crouched down over Lucas, forming a sort of cocoon around him against his father. She was shaking so badly that she feared at one point she might drop him.  
  
David crossed the room purposefully and she cried out when he took her by both arms and pulled her to her feet, removed Lucas with the tenderness of an angel from her arms, and placed him in the crib. He cried out loudly in protest, his only form of defense at sixteen months old. When he turned back to Jess, however, he was a madman once again.  
  
Jess screamed and ducked underneath the arm he had stretched out to take hold of her. She ran as fast as her legs would carry her, but they had turned to jelly when he had burst through the door and didn't serve her well. She wasn't quick enough, and coupled with the fact that her hair hung down to the middle of her back and flew out behind her when she ran, she didn't get very far. David took hold of the blonde mane as Jess ran past and pulled her back by it, Jess screaming madly.  
  
'Please let someone hear me. Please, Merlin, let someone hear me screaming,' Jess thought to herself as David pulled her close and then covered her mouth with his paw-like hand. She looked up into his eyes, begging him with tears and dilated pupils to stop. Just stop.  
  
"You told the ministry. I know it was you, Jess. Don't give me any of your bullshit lies and just admit it."  
  
Jess shook her head, her eyes becoming wide and squeezing tears out of their corners. She sobbed helplessly against his palm as her body went limp and she gave in to her fate. Of course it had been her. Who else could have known that David Cleaver had a veritable museum of the Dark Lord's personal artifacts in his basement?  
  
Sinking to her knees, her arms held above her head at the wrist by David, Jess looked as though she were begging him to be merciful. But of course she wasn't. She knew no amount of begging could win her mercy from a merciless monster like David Cleaver. She sobbed as she realized that the bruises on her back hadn't even healed yet. She sobbed as she wondered how David had managed to escape ministry officials. She sobbed as she wondered where in bloody hell Albus Dumbledore was. The ministry had sent an owl to say that he was on his way to collect her and take her and Lucas back to Hogwarts as soon as they had gotten word that David had escaped.  
  
And then, just as David had raised his free hand and was about to bring a mighty blow down upon Jess' left temple, she saw something. It was only a flash of red and gold, but she knew in an instant what it was. David must have seen it too, for he stopped in mid - blow and looked up toward the ceiling, following the blur with suddenly fearful eyes. Lucas had stopped screaming and was now laughing and pointing heavenward as Fawkes, a great and noble phoenix, landed atop his dresser mirror. Jess cast pleading eyes up at the bird, hoping with all the strength she had that Fawkes' arrival signaled Albus' as well. David, realizing that time was running out, turned his attention back to Jess, still kneeling on the floor in front of him.  
  
"Did you send for Dumbledore? Is that why this infernal bird is here?" His voice was rising with each syllable, each word sounding more poisonous than the last. "Did you call that muggle loving old bastard to come and save you?" Crack The back of his hand came up hard making contact with Jess' left cheek. She cried out and flew backwards, her back hitting the dresser. She crumpled up there and lay perfectly still. The back of her head was screaming out in agony - it had hit a knob on one of the drawers just so that when she placed a hand there she felt an instant sting and when she drew her hand back she saw blood on her fingers. She pushed herself up with both hands with all her might, but once she got far enough off the floor that her face wasn't touching it any more, she felt dizzy and was forced to let herself fall back to it. She thought she might vomit and she suddenly felt terribly thirsty.  
  
From the corner of her blurred vision she could see David's giant feet making quick advances on her but she hadn't the strength to do anything but lay back and close her eyes and welcome the end of her existence. And then it happened. She heard a voice - a very familiar voice - call out from the bedroom doorway, and it was enough to stop David dead in his tracks.  
  
"That is enough, David." The owner of the voice did not sound angry or vengeful. Nor had he raised his voice at all. Rather he sounded sad and almost disappointed in the scene he saw before him. "It's over."  
  
Jess saw another pair of feet come to meet David's. She heard some more muffled talking. And then, just before she felt everything fade to black and her consciousness slip mercifully away, she felt the sensation of someone strong and who smelled like cinnamon pick her up and carry her from the room. 


	2. Arrangements

It happened so slowly at first that an untrained eye would never have picked up the first hints of life in Jess Cleaver's body. The twitch of an eyelash. The shudder of a finger. All these things came to Severus' attention as he sat by Jess' bedside, reading and waiting for her to come out of her drug induced unconsciousness.  
  
"Where is my baby," was the first thing she asked him as she tried to sit up and failed, her body forcing her to lay back down and give it a rest. Snape, never taking his eyes off his book answered disinterestedly.  
  
"Lucas is having a grand time tearing the castle apart with Minerva. In the meanwhile I suggest you rest or the pain mixture I've given you will never have a chance to work."  
  
"I don't want to rest. I want to see my son. What happened to David?" Jess was now having a second go at getting out of bed and it looked as if she might succeed this time.  
  
With an aggravated sigh Severus marked his place, stood, and walked to the side of the bed where Jess was currently swinging her legs over and preparing to stand, albeit unsteadily. He put two heavy, yet gentle hands on her shoulders, and pushed her back down onto the bed. She was still sitting upright, but at least she was sitting, and if she was anything like she had been in school, she was giving in quite a bit.  
  
"David is in Azkaban. Where he belongs. I told you he wasn't good enough for you, didn't I?"  
  
"You were my head of house, not my father. Besides, David didn't change until after we graduated." Jess was busying herself with the bandages at the nape of her neck, and Severus was busy going behind her, cleaning up all the damage she was doing to herself. Just as she would remove a bandage he would replace it.  
  
"You're as bad as Poppy."  
  
"It needed to be redressed anyway."  
  
"Stop fussing over me and let me see my son."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Damn it, Snape," Jess was clearly at the end of her wits now. "I've had enough of this. I want to see Lucas. You get him here and you get him here now."  
  
Snape finished redressing the wound on her head and came around to face her, taking his seat back. "Most former students would show a bit more respect for their former professor and head of house. You will see Lucas as soon as I've had a chance to talk to you. Now be quiet and listen."  
  
Jess crossed her arms and stared at the ground, fidgeting her toes on the stone floor and waiting impatiently to hear what Snape had to say. When he didn't speak she looked up at him expectantly.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"Forgive me if I don't know just what to say. You've been away from school for three years now and not a day goes by that I don't think of you. I knew it would turn out this way. I could see this in David. I predicted it. You would have been prudent to listen to me."  
  
"You have no idea how creepy you sound right now. You were my professor and yet you sound as though you wanted to keep me for yourself."  
  
Snape looked at the ground and then back at Jess. "Don't be ridiculous. You were my best student. I'd hoped good things for you."  
  
"Better hush up. Wouldn't want any little Gryffindors overhearing you being all sentimental now would you."  
  
"Oh isn't that just like you. You never were comfortable when someone was trying to be nice to you. No wonder you went for a stupid prat like David Cleaver."  
  
"He wasn't always a stupid prat!" There were tears forming in the corners of her eyes now, and Jess was becoming more and more agitated, evidenced by her increased fidgeting. She was now starting to bite her nails.  
  
"He was, Jess. He just didn't let you see it. You were always better than him, you just couldn't see that either."  
  
"Well it's all over now. You'll never have to worry about seeing me with David Cleaver again. Or anyone for that matter. I've completely sworn off men of all sorts."  
  
"Bully for you. A good choice, I think. You'll find that absence of personal relationships in your life will leave plenty of time for academic pursuits."  
  
"As well as the attitude of a hermit. And a snarky one at that."  
  
"I'm going to ignore that comment."  
  
"That's fine. I've plenty more."  
  
"Jess. Just be quiet for a moment. You're here because you need to rest. But you're here for another reason as well. I need an apprentice. I can't teach forever, nor would I want to with the increasing ignorance of this generation of young witches and wizards. You were by far the most exceptional potions student I had. Albus desperately wants you to teach potions when my contract is up in five years. And I have to say if someone must replace me I don't think you'd be the worst choice."  
  
"Apprentice? Me? Please, Severus, you know I have no talent for teaching. I almost died of stress when we had to give our oral presentations on Polyjuice Potion seventh year. You yourself said it was the worst speech you'd heard since Cornelius Fudge lectured about wand standardization in your second year of teaching. Absolutely not. David had a substantial savings tucked away and I plan to retire on it, seeing as how he won't be needing it in Azkaban. I'm going to live a quiet life free from stress and free from work. Now may I please see my son?"  
  
"He is here, Jess, but I must beg you to please reconsider your answer to Severus' proposal." Albus' voice came tinkling in from the entrance to the hospital wing, and Lucas was bouncing up and down in his arms, giggling and tugging at the old wizard's white beard. At the sight of his mother Lucas laughed out loud and clapped his hands, his face broken into a wide grin. "We will be in desperate need of a potions professor who can equal Severus in crankiness when he is gone."  
  
Jess rolled her eyes and took her son, who was being handed to her by Albus, with welcoming arms. She set him on her lap and handed him a ball, which she procured from the pockets of her robes, keeping him quite entertained.  
  
"Albus, I appreciate you thinking of me, but I really don't think -"  
  
"You needn't answer now. You're tired, and if Severus has given you the same pain mixture that he gave me last week for my back, you're certainly in no fit state to consider such a weighty decision. For now just enjoy being a guest of the castle, and keep it in the back of your mind."  
  
"Thank you Albus, but as soon as I feel strong enough Lucas and I will be returning to Edinburgh, where I plan to raise my son and try to carry on as normally as possible. Thank you kindly."  
  
"You won't be returning to Edinburgh," Snape cut in.  
  
Jess turned her attention back toward him, challenging him with her eyes. "And why, may I ask, not?"  
  
"There are deatheaters crawling all through that town. Don't you think that after one of their own was put in Azkaban they'll be seeking out the woman who accused him and exacting their revenge? Don't be thick."  
  
"Well what do you suggest I do, then, oh wise and insightful one?"  
  
Severus looked at Albus, his brows furrowed and looking completely confounded, as if asking wasn't there something he could do about her impertinent attitude. Albus laughed slightly and looked from Jess to Severus. "She is no longer a student, Severus. I have no control over how she chooses to speak to you any longer. And besides, I have gone temporarily deaf and missed everything she just said." Albus laced his fingers together over his belly and turned his eyes heavenward.  
  
Severus curtly turned to face Jess again. "I'm going to follow Albus' good example and ignore your rude comments, if only for my own sanity. My suggestion, Mrs. Cleaver, is that you think of what's safest for you and your child -" at this point Lucas gave one well aimed toss of his ball and it smacked Severus square in the nose. Severus furrowed his brow and continued to speak, ignoring the giggles of the mother and son wonder team. "-and stay in the castle as long as possible. No deatheater would dare put one toe out of line if they did happen to learn your whereabouts and come looking for you."  
  
Jess started to protest but Albus chimed in. "I must agree with Severus, Jess. I think it would be prudent for you to stay under Severus' watch."  
  
Jess sighed heavily. The last thing she wanted was to spend the rest of her days hiding out in her old school, especially when it meant being under the protection of her old potions master. But the two men were right. It would be safest for Lucas to stay in the castle, and she wasn't about to go anywhere without her baby boy.  
  
"Fine," she answered finally. "But one thing, and I want you both to agree to it."  
  
"What is it," Albus asked patiently.  
  
"I'll no longer answer to 'Mrs. Cleaver.'" 


	3. If the Spirit Moves You

Jess' days in the castle went surprisingly quickly, once Poppy and Severus both agreed to let her leave the safety of the hospital wing and take an apartment of her own. There was quite a suitable one in the east wing, complete with a second bedroom, kitchenette, and loo. There was also the sitting room and a second annex off of it that had serious playroom potential. The entire thing was carpeted, making it ideal for a young boy just learning to use his feet, and there was plenty of room to grow.  
  
It wasn't long before, whether she wanted to admit it or not, the castle started to feel like home. Minerva and Albus took on the role of Nana and Poppa, and spent so much time with Lucas that he began to recognize them by their voices alone. Whenever Jess would walk past the Transfiguration classroom with him and he heard Minerva lecturing he would bounce and laugh and cause such a disturbance that Jess had to start taking an alternate route to the Great Hall to avoid disturbing the class.  
  
Even Severus had taken an interest in the boy, though he'd never admit it, even to Albus. But Jess started to notice that every time she would go to pick Lucas up from his play date with the Headmaster Severus would have found some excuse to have spent the entire time that Lucas was there visiting Albus as well. Lucas even started to develop a bit of a sneer, which caused Jess to want to take the corners of his mouth and stretch them out to a huge smile whenever she saw it.  
  
In fact, while she had hoped that Lucas would develop a strong attachment to Albus or even Flitwick rather than Snape, it seemed as though Severus was the one that Lucas got the most excited to see. At meals the boy insisted on being seated directly between Snape and Jess, which caused a bit of a problem seeing as how Jess' "assigned" seat was at the end of the table. Minerva had been quite willing to give up her seat next to Severus, however, seeming to know something that neither of them was aware of.  
  
By Halloween it seemed hard to believe that the duo had only been in the castle a month. The way Lucas adored Severus, if one didn't know better he would have thought that Severus was the boy's true father. Of course, the shock of blonde hair on the boy's head and his icy green eyes told otherwise, but the strange attachment was still there.  
  
That's why, on Halloween evening, Lucas was none to happy to be taken away by Minerva and Albus to attend the ball while Jess spent a quiet evening in her room. Never mind that Severus had shown up to present the boy with a costume. Jess had hoped that he would leave as soon as Lucas was gone. Hell, he could even take Lucas to the ball, Jess didn't care, as long as he left her alone.  
  
The two were getting along slightly better as long as Severus didn't press her too hard on the issue of teaching. They chatted amiably enough while Jess changed Lucas and dressed him in his new costume. When it was all put together, Jess had to admit to herself, it was a rather adorable costume. It was a deep green velvet robe, and when the hood was pulled up it was sewn to look like the head of a dragon. Lucas didn't care much for the hood, and every time Jess would flip it up he would cry and toss it back down, but it was still sweet to see him all dressed up. His first Halloween had been a bit of a bust. David and Jess had had a fight and David had ended up not allowing Jess to take Lucas to her mother's to see his costume. The next week Jess' mother had died due to complications with a recent horseback riding accident and Jess had never really forgiven David for not letting her go to see her one last time.  
  
After Albus and Minerva had taken away one very upset little boy (he had obviously been looking forward to a Halloween with his newest friend) Jess had told Severus all about Lucas' first Halloween.  
  
Severus obviously wasn't planning on going anywhere, much to Jess' dismay, and so to be a good hostess she offered him a glass of Chianti when she poured herself one. He had accepted and sat on her loveseat, which was the only furniture that sat directly in front of her fireplace, and which also happened to be her favorite seat.  
  
She felt a bit irritated that he had taken her spot, and she realized that there was room for her on the loveseat, but she'd be damned if she was bout to let Severus bully her into sitting next to him. She chose to sit on one of the chairs to the side of the fireplace and forego the comfortable heat that one got from sitting closer to it.  
  
"Well, I don't know what you expect me to say other than I warned you."  
  
"I don't expect you to say anything. I was just telling you the story. Fuck's sake."  
  
"Well you expected me to say something or you wouldn't have told me the story. Honestly, Jess, I can tell you he was a nasty bastard until I'm blue in the face, but how many times to I have to say it before you'll believe me?" Severus kept his face trained on the fire and took a sip of Chianti when he had finished.  
  
Jess was speechless. Had he known all along that every time he called David some derogatory name he caused her heart to flutter? Had he known that every time she disagreed with him what she really longed to say was that she agreed wholeheartedly? She had no idea what to say in this situation, so she polished off the last of her glass and asked, "More to drink?"  
  
Severus didn't answer in either the affirmative or the negative, but simply held his glass out at arms length. She crossed the great expanse between them in three steps and took his glass, filled it, and returned it to him. She then returned to her chair and drained about half her glass. For some reason she was feeling uncomfortable and irritable. As if Severus had something that he desperately wanted to say to her but couldn't find the words. Or couldn't swallow his pride.  
  
Anxiety getting the best of her, Jess stood and wandered about the room aimlessly, coming to rest directly in front of the mantel and leaning on it heavily, staring into the fire and fidgeting with her fingers, chewing her nails, doing anything she could to take her mind off the tension between herself and her former potions master who was quickly becoming a current crush. "Would you sit down and relax, please," came his silky voice from behind her. "You're making me nervous."  
  
"Well I'm nervous myself." Jess answered curtly and while her words and tone were designed to push him away she found herself hoping he wouldn't withdraw. She wished desperately that she could just come right out and say what she was feeling. But even she wasn't sure exactly what that was, and she certainly couldn't find words for it. Besides conflicted.  
  
"What could you possibly have to be nervous about? And after a glass and a half of Chianti? It must be something extremely worrisome."  
  
"I'm just - nervous. About Luke. I think maybe I should go and get him from the ball. What if he's tired? Or hungry? He's really too young to be spending the evening away from me."  
  
"I'm sure Minerva and Albus are quite capable of seeing to his needs. And I'm sure as well that he's having a grand time. And I'm also sure that that's not all you're anxious about."  
  
"You're right. It's not. It's not at all. I'm also anxious that they might run out of nappies, or that me might catch a chill. That robe was awfully thin, you know, and it is chilly in the Great Hall -"  
  
It was then that she felt it. The surprisingly warm fingers of her former potions master and head of house were drawing her hair from in front of her shoulder to join the rest of it behind her neck. She flinched and spun round quickly, dropping her glass on the carpet with a thick thud. Her eyes were wide and her pupils dilated, and the fear that she was about to be struck was evident in her face.  
  
Severus' face was mere inches from hers, and his eyes studied her in her entirety. She could feel his breath on her neck and flinched again as he rose one hand to place his glass on the mantle. Gods his skin looked soft from this close up, and his eyes made two chocolate pools that danced and flickered with the fire.  
  
"You're not anxious about nappies either."  
  
Jess' breathing was quickening mightily, and she refused to look him in the eye, choosing instead to look past him to the window that overlooked the lake.  
  
"Jess, he wasn't good enough for you." He went to place one hand on her cheek and she flinched again, closing her eyes and turning her head away as an automatic response. Severus persisted, though, and with the most gentility she had ever seen from him he brushed a few stray wisps of hair away from her cheek. The sensation of his skin on hers sent a shiver down her spine and she couldn't help but exhale heavily. This wasn't fair. He shouldn't be allowed to have such a profound effect on her.  
  
"Just look what he's done to you. A woman like you -" he seemed suddenly shy and lost for words. "A woman like you deserves to be treated properly. He did you wrong, Jess, and if I'd have had my chance I would have given him exactly what he deserved." Severus' lips were drawing closer and the closer they drew the more Jess could feel some unnamable fear rising up in her chest.  
  
She felt like a claustrophobic trapped in a closet. She desperately wanted out. With one deft movement she slid underneath his arm and retreated to the shadows, refilling his glass with Chianti and downing the whole thing in one long swig. Then she poured another and took a quick swig before turning to see Severus putting on his cloak and heading for the door.  
  
"I'm sorry, Jess. It was the Chianti. Always goes to my head." Severus refused to look at her, looking instead at the floor. Just before he ducked out the door he turned and faced her for one brief second. "Forgive me for my forwardness." Then he ducked out, leaving her to contemplate the strange events of the evening. 


	4. The Audition

Jess was nothing if not a pro at taking an uncomfortable situation and breezing over it as if nothing had happened. It's a useful little skill to have when you're a battered wife, after all. That's why, when Albus and Minerva returned at nine that evening with Lucas (who had a belly full of candy and enough in his pumpkin shaped cauldron to last the rest of the year), wondering where Severus had gone off to, Jess explained the whole situation away with a bellyache on his part.  
  
"He really is a lightweight when it comes to Chianti," she said as she took her son from Albus' arms where he was busy bouncing and smacking his head with his palm in a sugar-induced frenzy. Jess marveled at how good the pair were at being grandparents. Only a professional grandparent would have known to take the child out for the evening, sugar him up, and then bring him back a wild animal for mommy to deal with. Jess smiled at the thought, though. Lucas had no more grandparents on her side and David's parents hadn't spoken to either of them since he'd married her. This, Jess had decided, was probably part of the reason he had become so hostile toward her. It seemed as if every reason for his hostility boiled down to something that was her fault. In her mind, anyway.  
  
Albus and Minerva exchanged knowing glances, as if they were quite aware exactly what had gone on but wished to allow Jess to think she had fooled them.  
  
"He was never much for brandy when I offered it either," Albus answered, winking at Minerva. Then the two took their leave and when Jess went to close the door behind them she noticed that Albus had taken Minerva's hand. She'd always known there was something between the two, but this was the first time she'd ever seen it acted out. It was a bit nauseating and at the same time sweet. Like seeing your father kiss your mother. She shook her head with a smile and closed the door. She had bigger problems to deal with. Namely, a seventeen-month-old boy on the peak of a serious sugar buzz.  
  
Jess knew just what to do. She took Lucas to the bathtub and filled it just enough that there was water covering the entire bottom - just enough that when she sat him down he was in up to his waist. While drawing the water she took a vial from the cupboard that contained a translucent violet liquid. On the front, scrawled in a strict yet script like hand, were the words "Lavender Bedtime Bath". She couldn't look past the writing and it sparked something in her that was neither excitatory nor inhibitory. It was a strange combination of the two and made her stomach do somersaults and her head feel detached. That was Severus' writing. He had brewed this particular concoction for her when she had set up in her apartment. It was a tremendous sleep aid with the lavender in it, and she thought a little dab might be just what Lucas needed to overcome the effects of the Halloween treats.  
  
She stared at the label a moment longer before shaking her head and continuing her job. She turned off the water and picked Lucas up from the floor, where he was busy sitting and chewing a bath towel. She undressed him and placed him in the water. This was enough to renew the sugar and he had a grand time splashing everything in sight, including her. Ten minutes later he was half clean and she was completely soaked, but they were both having fun and it was good for them. She had washed his hair with a special baby shampoo that she bought from a little witch in Diagon Alley - it was the only kind she would use on Luke - and was just rinsing it when she heard it.  
  
The door to the apartment opened and clicked shut, and she heard the distinctive sound of a very expensive and exquisite cloak being removed and tossed onto the loveseat. Then there was the "click -scrape, click-scrape, click-scrape" of leather shoes on her carpet, heading toward the bathtub.  
  
"Who's there," she called, knowing perfectly well who it was, her heart racing and her mind going numb.  
  
And then he appeared in the doorway to the w.c., his arms crossed, leaning on the frame of the door and watching Lucas toss handful after handful of water on Jess' head. Jess had turned, her hands still in the water, on her knees beside the tub, her neck bent in a very uncomfortable position to look at him, and water running down her from every angle. Her blonde hair was matted to her head and a steady drip was running off the ski slope of her nose, hitting her lip and then dropping to the stone floor.  
  
Neither of them spoke for a moment, and Lucas seemed to recognize the tense magic between them because he turned his attention to his rubber duck and pretended to be very interested in making it swim about the tub quietly. He did, however, keep one eye on the situation at hand at all times, every now and then glancing up at Snape and then at his Mum, then back to the duck.  
  
Without words, Snape finally stood and took a towel from the cupboard. He brought it over to Jess and threw it on top of her head so that she could dry herself off. He then proceeded to roll up his sleeves and take hold of the vial of "Lavender Bedtime Bath". He poured out a handful of it and created a lather between his hands. He then set to work bathing Lucas with all the gentility of a nanny. Lucas sat quietly and allowed himself to be scrubbed, playing good-naturedly with the duck and not getting a drop of bathwater on Severus. Every now and then he would look up at his mum with something in his eyes that would have been a wink, had he known how to wink. Jess just sat back, her legs folded underneath her while she dabbed at her hair and robe, her mouth slightly ajar and her brow furrowed.  
  
"Close your mouth. You'll catch flies." Severus didn't bother to look at her when he issued this piece of advice, but kept his full attention on Lucas. He seemed so at ease with the whole situation that Jess would have sworn he knew exactly what he was doing.  
  
Jess looked from Lucas to Severus and did close her mouth, but the look of complete confusion and frustration remained firmly upon her features. This was simply too bizarre. It was as if the two boys were trying to tell her something, Lucas through his good behavior and Severus through his ability to handle the child.  
  
"Come on, mum," Lucas seemed to be pleading through his eyes. "Can't you see I like this guy? What the bloody hell are you waiting for, already? Get moving, and don't mess this one up. I want a papa, and a good one this time." Jess blinked. She held the towel in her lap as she watched the two until Severus reached over and took it from her. His thumb brushed her thigh as he did and she felt her breath hitch. She got the distinct impression that Severus felt it as well but he gave no indication that he did.  
  
Severus pulled the plug in the drain and then lifted the boy up out of the tub, wrapped him in the towel, and proceeded to dry his hair and body. Then he turned and left the room, leaving Jess sitting in her little ball on the floor. Her brow furrowed further at this. What did he think he was doing? Quickly she got to her feet and followed Severus into the kitchenette where he was busy looking through the cupboards. The milk jug was waiting on the counter and Jess realized that he was looking for a bottle, and not doing a very good job with one arm full of baby boy. She reached up into the cupboard under the sink and pulled out one of six antique glass baby bottles and a rubber nipple. She filled the bottle halfway with milk, screwed the nipple onto the top, and pulled out her wand. One simple warming charm later she handed it to Severus, who made a conscious effort to look her in the eyes and brush her fingers as he took it. She could have been mistaken but she thought she even saw him smile slightly at the corners of his mouth as he did.  
  
Then he turned and went wordlessly into the sitting room, taking his seat - her seat - on the loveseat. He handed the bottle to Lucas, who took it and drank hungrily. Severus seemed enamored with the child, looking down at his placid face while he drank, listening to him make little grunts and burps as he sucked down his bedtime bottle.  
  
Jess couldn't help herself this time. She went to the loveseat and sat, watching this whole thing in wide-eyed amazement. Never once since Lucas had been born had David bathed him or fed him. And now here was a man, not even the child's father, handling him so naturally it was almost unnatural. When Luke had finished the last of the milk he removed the bottle from his mouth and handed it to Severus with both hands. Severus sat it on the end table beside the loveseat and took Lucas to his room, Jess not far behind. There he sat the boy on his changing station and put a fresh nappy on him, covered him with a light sleeping shirt covered in golden snitches that twinkled and flittered in place, and picked him back up. Severus then crossed the room and held Lucas out to Jess, who offered him her arms. Lucas didn't go to Jess, but instead gave her a peck on the cheek and leaned back into Severus' chest, closing his eyes and curling up comfortably.  
  
"Night Luke," Jess said almost under her breath. She watched as Severus walked Luke back and forth across the room until he was asleep, one little finger curled around a strand of Severus' shiny black hair, then placed him in his crib, covered him, and set his mobile spinning. Then, still without a word to Jess, Severus swept out of the room leaving Jess to stand in stupefied amazement, her arms crossed and her brow furrowed.  
  
When she finally came to her senses, and checked the way that Severus had tucked Luke in (it was perfect), she left the room and closed the door all but a crack. She went out in the sitting room, half expecting (and hoping she was wrong) Severus to have left. But he hadn't. He was out in the kitchen putting the milk away. Jess stood in the doorway watching, her hands at her side, looking somewhat abashed. When he finished he turned and looked at her, as if waiting for a grade from a professor.  
  
"Well, how did I do," he seemed to ask with his expression. Jess couldn't stand it any longer. Those soft eyes and that even softer expression. The gentleness with which she'd handled her son. This wasn't someone she needed to fear. This was a man she could trust - a man she was sure didn't exist in the whole world since her father had died when she was just young. Throwing all caution to the wind she crossed the kitchen and snuggled in deep to his chest, seeming to want to bury herself in him. He smelled like Luke's bathwater and cinnamon.  
  
At first he didn't know what to do, but it came to him quick enough and he wrapped two strong arms around her. And he held her wordlessly as she started to cry. 


	5. The Morning After

Severus didn't know how long he could stand there and hold the sobbing girl, so he picked her up and carried her into her room. He laid her on her bed and went to her dresser, pulled out a dry robe, and tossed it to her. Then he pulled the shades on her four-poster.  
  
"Why don't you switch into something dry," he instructed her as he waited outside the bed for her to do so. When she had finished she opened the curtain on her side of the bed and sat there, just looking at him with confusion and frustration evident in her eyes.  
  
"Why are you being so nice to me?"  
  
"It's the Chianti, like I said. Tomorrow I'll be back to the complete git that I've always been. So don't get used to this or anything." Severus looked at the ground and fidgeted with a set of brushes and combs that were on top of the dresser he was leaning against. Jess rolled her eyes and stood up, crossed the room to him, and took his collar with both hands. Then she drug him over to the bed and pushed him down onto it.  
  
"Severus?" She was now looking down at him and he was sitting on the bed, looking up at her.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Lay down and shut up." Severus raised both of his eyebrows and gave her a quizzical look as he slipped his shoes off and slid back onto the bed, laying down and holding his arms open for Jess. She laid down next to him, her head on his chest, and closed the curtain to the four-poster, enclosing them both in a warm darkness that seemed to protect them from everything outside of it.  
  
Severus found himself running his hands through her hair, smoothing it out and generally enjoying the feel of it under his fingers. He curled it around his thumb, pulled it away from her face, anything to give him an excuse to touch it. He could feel her breath warm against his belly through his robe each time she exhaled, and her head bobbed up and down with each breath he took. Neither of them said a word after that, but each simply enjoyed the way the other felt in their arms, and presently they both fell asleep that way, comfortable for the first time since either of them could remember.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Jess awoke the next morning to the smell of bacon and the sound of Lucas giggling and playing with some noisy toy - sounded like blocks. For a brief moment she smiled, and then she felt alarmed. What was Lucas doing out of bed? Then she threw one hand out to her side, where Severus had slept the night before, and found that the bed was unmade and cold, and Severus was nowhere to be found. Even more alarmed Jess threw open the curtain to the bed and found her dressing gown hanging on a hook beside the bed. She took it down and wrapped it around herself, pulling the belt tight around her waist. Then she hurried out into the sitting room to see what was going on.  
  
There was Lucas, contentedly smashing two wooden dolls together at the head and giggling with glee at the havoc he was wreaking in their little doll world. He looked up when he saw his mum enter the room and dropped the dolls. He got to his feet and pointed and laughed at the disheveled state of her hair. She put one hand to her head and realized what a mess she must look. Then her attention went to the kitchen where she could hear the sizzle of breakfast and smell the strong odor of oil and eggs. This simply couldn't be, she thought to herself as she crossed the room and ruffled Lucas' hair on her way to the kitchen.  
  
But when she reached her destination she was proven wrong. It could be, and it was. There was Severus, busy at the stove with bacon and eggs, and filling two glasses and one bottle with milk. She looked past him to the kitchen table, and there were three places set, and Lucas' high chair was set up.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
Severus finished pouring the milk and looked at her as he placed it back in the icebox.  
  
"It's a little thing I like to call breakfast." Severus went back to the counter, screwed the nipple onto the top of the bottle, and then picked up the two glasses in one hand and the bottle in the other and placed them at the table. "You know, everyone sits around the table in the morning and eats a meal. First of the day, you know, and they feed the baby and talk about their plans for the day ahead. That sort of thing."  
  
Severus went to the stove and took his pan of scrambled eggs off the burner. He took the pan to the table and emptied it's contents into a huge bowl, sticking a spoon in the top of them. Then he placed the pan in the sink, went back to the stove, took the bacon, set a decent amount on all of their plates, and placed that pan in the sink as well.  
  
"No, I mean what are you doing - here? Why? I never thought of you as the domestic type. In fact to be honest, the sight of my former potions master cooking my breakfast is a little uncomfortable." Jess kicked herself mentally. Why was she being so rude? It was as if the devil had taken control of her mouth and was spouting things off that she couldn't seem to censor.  
  
"There's a lot you don't know about me. For instance, I cannot be pushed away by rude comments or standoffish attitudes. So if you're trying to kick me out you'd better think of a more effective way than that."  
  
"Yes, well, I forgot that you wrote the book on rude comments and standoffish attitudes." Damn it! There she went again!  
  
"And if you're not careful you'll have the sequel written before you know it." It was maddening to Jess the way he just went about his business as he talked to her, as if her remarks didn't phase him a bit. It was almost as if he were operating on a higher plane of existence, looking down on her as he worked but not bothered by her in the slightest.  
  
"Mahhhhh," Lucas called from his playpen. He must have sensed that the two were having another round at pissing each other off, and saw it as his place to intervene. Jess just stood there, her arms crossed, watching Severus go about his business.  
  
"You'd better go and get Luke. I expect he's getting quite hungry." Jess scowled good-naturedly and went into the other room to collect her son. When she picked Lucas up he took each of her cheeks in one of his hands and kissed her loudly square on the forehead.  
  
"Morning mum," he seemed to say. When Jess walked him past Severus he put both of his hands to his mouth and kissed them, then threw them out towards Severus as if he wanted to blow kisses.  
  
"Silly boy," Jess playfully scolded him. "The nasty old potions master doesn't like kisses," she said as she placed him in his high chair. When she stood up she was surprised by the sensation of a hand being run along her waist, herself being drawn up against Severus' body, and his warm breath in his ear as he leaned down and whispered something to her.  
  
"Says who?" Then he placed one swift and simple peck on her cheek, released her, and went back to preparing their plates. Lucas seemed to feel that the moment needed lightened, so he took an especially greasy piece of bacon and flicked it expertly against Severus' forehead.  
  
"Thank you, Lucas, but I have plenty of my own bacon here." Severus didn't even lift an eye to the boy as he answered, but Luke seemed to know that the comment was for him because he giggled and clapped his hands loudly, obviously very proud of himself. Severus then picked up the stray piece of bacon and handed it back to Lucas, who took it with a smile and bit into it, all seven of his teeth working hard at grinding it up before he swallowed it.  
  
And so breakfast went, the three of them laughing and getting on like old friends for the better portion of the morning. 


	6. Confession

~Author's Note~  
  
Sorry for the shortness of the chapter, but it was just a little one-shot that was knocking around in my head, begging to be written. I have no idea where I'll go from here, but as soon as I figure it out I'll post it. Thanks for all the awesome reviews and for reading. It means a lot. ~Peace~  
  
That night, after Severus had insisted on bathing and feeding Lucas again, he and Jess sat together on the loveseat and finished what was left of the Chianti, talking and laughing and generally enjoying each other's company. Though if either of them were asked outright they would have said that they were merely tolerating each other.  
  
Jess was feeling thoroughly wrecked after three glasses of the potent wine and she found that her tongue became quite loose when she was feeling that way.  
  
"Why do you insist on acting like Lucas' father?" The question came out as easily as asking the time of day, and Jess didn't seem to realize that she'd asked a question that might take some consideration.  
  
Severus swallowed the mouthful of wine he had taken and set the glass down on the end table beside the loveseat, turned to Jess, and looked her over for a moment.  
  
"If I answer that, then I get to ask you a question."  
  
Jess considered this for a moment before giving her consent. "Fine," she said. "So why do you?"  
  
Severus folded his hands in front of him and took a deep breath, as if preparing for a long journey. "He reminds me of my daughter."  
  
Jess' eyes became wide and she looked at Severus as if she were seeing him for the first time. "I never knew you had a -"  
  
"Like I said before. There are a lot of things you don't know about me."  
  
"Well what happened? Where is she now?"  
  
"She was killed when she was ten months old. As was my wife."  
  
"Your -" Jess stopped herself. This whole silly crush she had been indulging in suddenly seemed wrong and strange. It felt as if she were intruding on someone else's property. Without realizing she had done it, Jess straightened herself and scooted a bit farther away from Severus on the loveseat.  
  
"Yes. It was a thousand years ago." A look came over his face as if he had just traveled back that thousand years and seen his wife and daughter standing straight in front of him. Jess looked at the fire, at which Severus was now staring, and then back at him, just to make sure she wasn't missing something. "We were both young. Married straight out of Hogwarts. She had become involved with the Dark Lord's circle and I followed blindly. I was a fool. It didn't take long before she found herself in bad odor with the deatheaters. She had been fickle and wavered when it came right down to performing her duties as one of Voldemort's lackeys. I had been away on an assignment with a few other deatheaters. Busywork, I was to find out later. A simple ploy to get me to leave the house. While I was gone they were -" Severus' voice cracked here, and he looked at the ground. This had just the effect he had hoped, because Jess didn't see the tear slide from his eye and slip down his cheek, dropping from there to the floor without a sound.  
  
"You don't have to -"  
  
"No. I need to. The only other person I've ever told has been Albus. But there's another reason you need to know." At this point Severus looked up at Jess and took one of her hands, enveloping it in one of his. "I care for you. I honestly care for you and I don't know how you feel about me, but if there's any hope for us to become what I know we could, you have a right to know, and a need to know." She couldn't say why, but she felt the sudden urge to encourage him. She covered his hand with her free hand and squeezed tightly, but she didn't say a word. She just left it up to him to continue.  
  
"Anyway, that was when I came straight to Albus. It was the only place I knew to come. No one else has ever been as forgiving and patient as that man. He's like a father to me. He took me in and gave me a job, and in exchange I became a spy. A sort of double agent. The deatheaters think that I am here to spy for them, but none of the information I give them is truthful. Of course, there are certain members of the dark lord's circle that I have to sneak around. I won't name names, but there are a few on the board of directors for the school that must be pacified." At this point Severus looked up to Jess' eyes with something more in his own. He seemed to be searching her for something. Was it forgiveness? Acceptance.  
  
Whatever it was the look of pure compassion in her eyes was enough to satisfy him. Slowly, as if afraid that she would anger him, she placed one hand on the left sleeve of his robe. She glanced up at him before she went on, but he seemed to know what she was about to do and he seemed to be all right with it. Gently she slid the sleeve up to the elbow and found just what she had expected. There, burned into the skin in an ugly black brand, was the dark mark.  
  
"I'll understand if you can't accept it." Jess looked up to him then, her brows furrowed not in confusion or frustration, but in pity, and she cast on him every warm and loving feeling she had in herself. She placed one hand atop the mark, covering it completely, and then guided his hand to her face, where he gripped her tightly but gently, underneath her jaw. Then she leaned in, her eyes closing as their lips touched for the first time.  
  
When they broke apart she opened her eyes and looked straight into his, her breath somewhat labored and her voice the slightest bit shaky.  
  
"What's your question for me, then?"  
  
"What gave you the impression that I didn't like kisses," Snape asked as he pulled her back toward him. 


	7. Without A Trace

"Please, Severus?" Jess was continuing to wheedle and whine at Severus one evening even after he'd expressed his sincere distaste for her notion to go to Diagon Alley with Lucas for a bit of a break from the castle.  
  
Jess and Severus were sitting on the loveseat, as had become a common custom for them since Halloween. It was now November and Jess was beginning to suffer a severe case of cabin fever. She took one of his paws in two of her diminutive hands and squeezed.  
  
"It could be like a little holiday-for-the-day type of thing. All three of us could have such a splendid time. Shopping and eating out. Oooh, and we could stay at the Leaky Cauldron for the night and come back in the morning!"  
  
Severus took a sip of his Chianti, stoic resistance evidenced on his face. "You don't have to ask my permission, Jess, but you know what I think of it. Obviously if you go I'll have to go with you. I'm not letting you off castle grounds without my supervision. But I don't think it's wise. And if you do decide that you absolutely must get out I feel I must insist that you leave Lucas here."  
  
"But Severus-"  
  
He set down his glass and raised his newly free hand. "I'll not bend on that stipulation. It's not safe for you to be wandering about wizarding London, let alone bringing Lucas along with you. I don't think you realize just how easy it is to cast a tracking spell on someone. For all you know there could be scores of deatheaters waiting in Hogsmeade for you to wander away from the castle. All it takes is a half a minute, Jess, and you're gone." Then as an afterthought he added, "I don't think I could stand it if something were to happen to you."  
  
Jess sighed deeply and threw her head back so that her neck arched in such a way as to make Severus' heart skip a beat. Thus far he had never touched Jess unless she had initiated it, and all of their romantic foibles had gone no farther than a kiss. The sight of her arched against the back of the couch sent his mind to matters quite unrelated to her leaving the castle.  
  
She took another sip of wine and set her glass down, pulling her knees up to her chest and gripping her ankles. She tossed her head to one side, looking at Severus with a mixture of amusement and annoyance.  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Fine what?"  
  
"Fine I'll leave Luke here. As long as someone doesn't mind watching him. And I'll even tolerate your company. I just have to get out of this castle. Besides, it's almost Christmas, and I need presents."  
  
"Very well. And when do you plan to head off on this little excursion of yours?"  
  
"First thing Saturday morning. We can return on Sunday."  
  
Severus cringed inwardly. He avoided Diagon Alley whenever possible, but now he actually had a reason to. It was going to be a crowded mess this close to the Holidays. There would no doubt be some members of the Dark Lord's circle laying in wait. Not to mention how uncomfortable the beds were at the Leaky Cauldron. But, much to his dismay, Severus found that he could deny Jess nothing that she truly wanted, and so Friday evening found him packing a small satchel with a change of clothes, toiletries, and a change purse that held a fair amount of galleons, sickles, and knuts.  
  
Severus closed the door to his private chambers after taking a good long look at them. Always dark and forbidding, he marveled at how he had lived in them for so long. He had been spending every night of the past two months in Jess' apartment, and the contrast could not be starker. His rooms were in the dungeons, had no light or warmth to them, and were almost less inviting than his classroom if that was possible. At least the classroom had circulation of young minds and bodies through it. Snape sighed as he realized that his surroundings had become as stagnant as he had. He hoped as he walked up the hall, satchel in hand, that Jess would be able to bring him back to life. Lucas had already started, but Snape needed to be brought to life in a whole other way as well.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Saturday morning Jess and Severus brought a cranky Lucas to Albus' study where the old Headmaster was enjoying some tea and toast for breakfast. Jess handed Lucas to Severus to hold while she sat up his playpen and tossed some toys about for him. Then she handed the nappy bag to Albus and put Lucas in the playpen.  
  
"Everything should be here, but I've left my door unlocked in case I've forgotten something." Jess bent down and kissed Luke tenderly on the forehead, ruffling his hair as she turned to go.  
  
When she and Severus had left and the door had been shut, Lucas reached out to Albus with one pudgy hand and cried, "dahhhhhh," as if asking whether Albus noticed the spark between them as well.  
  
"I quite agree, child. I quite agree." And with that Albus took Lucas out of his playpen and allowed him to wander freely throughout the room, playing with whatever he wanted. "Let's not tell your mother I don't make you stay in that awful cage, shall we? It shall be our private secret." Albus laughed slightly to himself as Lucas reached up to the bookshelf to get one of the massive tomes that were set upon it, lost his balance, and fell on his rear, then turned to see if Albus was looking and clapped as if he had just done some kind of trick.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ The trip to Hogsmeade was pleasant. There was still no snow on the ground and the breeze that ruffled Severus and Jess' hair was almost warm. They were wearing the lightest of traveling cloaks and Jess was thoroughly enjoying seeing the changing of the leaves.  
  
Once in Hogsmeade they were able to find a dark corner from which to apparate. They appeared with a "pop" just outside the Leaky Cauldron. Jess wanted to get started shopping right away, but Severus thought it might serve them well to go and line up their room for the evening ahead of time.  
  
"Look how busy the streets are," he reasoned with her as she watched wide- eyed and eager the comings and goings of the hundreds of witches and wizards who had crowded into the alley. "It's the holiday shopping season and I guarantee you that all these old biddies aren't going to want to apparate back home after an exhausting day of shopping."  
  
A pair of wizened old witches that had been window shopping at the herbal shop about a foot away gasped and straightened up, giving Severus a look of pure malice, and waddled off toward Madam Malkin's. Jess laughed and slapped Severus hard against his bicep. He winced but did not react.  
  
"You'd better watch what you say, Severus," Jess warned playfully. "You're no spring chicken yourself." Without waiting for a reaction Jess wandered into the Leaky Cauldron to secure a room. Severus blinked and watched her go, stunned that she had so blatantly insulted him. He finally sauntered in after her. He had intended to pay for the room, but she had already beat him to it. He waved her into a corner of the darkened pub.  
  
"Where are you planning on going?"  
  
"I don't know. Does it matter?" Jess sounded confused.  
  
"Well it would be helpful if I am to follow you."  
  
"Follow me?" Jess was downright confounded now. "Severus we can just walk together. Play it by ear."  
  
Severus let loose an exasperated sigh. "You don't use your head much do you?" Jess scowled and looked confused but motioned for him to elaborate. "The deatheaters think that I am still a faithful follower of the dark lord. If one of them was to see me shopping with you I'm quite certain it would arouse suspicion. My suggestion is that you do what you need to do, but don't make it incredibly hard for me to keep an eye on you. Understood?"  
  
Jess gave a small salute and clicked her heels together. "Yes sir," she answered in her best military voice.  
  
"Fine. You go out. I'll be straight behind." And off they went.  
  
The first place Jess wanted to go was the little witch's shop that carried Lucas' baby shampoo. She bought five bottles of it, along with a few bars of charmed bath soap that left a scent on one's skin that stayed in place for up to ten hours. These were to be Christmas gifts for a few of her old school friends.  
  
The second stop was Geoffrey's Toy Depot, where Jess spent almost an hour doing Lucas' Christmas shopping. Severus wound his way up and down the aisles, watching Jess as she picked through all sorts of brightly colored bits and bobs that she thought Lucas would like. Every now and then she would look up as she was snooping through a bin or comparing prices on items and give Severus a smile. To the average observer it was the smile of one stranger to another. Just a simple courtesy. But Severus felt something more in the smile, something meant just for him, and try as he might he couldn't help the insistent tug of a small grin at the corners of his mouth whenever he saw it.  
  
Jess finally finished at Geoffrey's and then made her way to Madam Malkin's Robes For All Occasions. There she purchased a few new sleepers in bigger sizes, along with three new robes, a cloak, and a brand new set of leather shoes that matched Severus', all for someone a tenth of his size. He smiled when he saw her pick them out. As she was waiting in line he came up behind her with something in his arms. She couldn't pick out just what it was, and couldn't risk taking it to look at it, so she turned to face him as she waited and pretended to be looking out the window. Then, with her lips remaining in place, she started to speak to him.  
  
"What's that you've got there?" It ended up sounding more like 'at's 'at 'u 'ot 'er?' Severus followed suit, pretending to be highly interested in a sign above the clerk.  
  
"None of your business."  
  
"I want to go into the next shop alone."  
  
"Not a chance."  
  
"Please. Just wait outside the door. I'll be fine. I want to pick up something and I don't want you to see it."  
  
Severus raised an eyebrow quizzically but found that he simply couldn't tell her no. It was obvious that she wanted to pick up his Christmas present, and he was so struck by the fact that she had thought of him as someone worth buying a Christmas present for that he found himself telling her, through motionless lips, that he would be waiting right outside the door.  
  
So, when Jess entered Apollo's Apothecary, a very posh shop whose wares were coveted by any potions enthusiast, he stopped on the steps and leaned against the window, watching the comings and goings of the wizarding world with no real interest whatsoever.  
  
Five minutes passed. Ten minutes. Severus readjusted himself and snuck a quick peek in the window. He couldn't see Jess, but the shop was so crowded that he could have been looking right at her and not known it. He turned his attention back to the street and was just getting ready to go inside and rush the silly girl when he saw three cloaked figures waiting in the entrance to Knockturn Alley. The three had their hoods up and were paying no real attention to Severus, but Severus became quite interested in them.  
  
His heart began to race and his breath came in prickly, staccato jabs. He spun around and looked in the shop again. Still no sign of her. He looked to his left, then to his right. And that's when he heard it. There was the tinkle of the bell to the shop door and there was the hustling sound of a cloaks swishing together. Out of the shop walked Lucius Malfoy, his arm around Jess' shoulders. Severus looked down. In Lucius' free hand was a silver stiletto with a mother of pearl handle pressed firmly against Jess' back, ready to puncture the skin if she made a single wrong move. Jess was able to make quick eye contact with Severus and the pure terror in them was enough to break his heart.  
  
They spoke without words. She knew that he knew and that was enough. She trusted him to find her and she continued to cooperate with Lucius. Off they walked, toward the group of three dark wizards and into Knockturn Alley. Without hesitation Severus found privacy and apparated straight to Hogsmeade and from there straight to Dumbledore. 


	8. Preparation

"Albus, she -"  
  
"We know Severus. We know."  
  
Severus burst into the headmaster's office, slamming the door back on its hinges and against the wall, causing Lucas to scream even louder than he had been. His face was red as a tomato and he was rubbing his eyes exhaustedly. As soon as he saw Severus he stretched his arms out and leaned so far out of Albus' arms that the old man had to scramble to keep a hold of him.  
  
"I think he wants to be with you, Severus." Albus held Lucas out and Severus took him. The change in the boy was instant and uncanny. Lucas curled up on his belly on top of Severus' chest and buried himself in the old man's robes. He found his thumb and started to suck on it, and although his chest was still heaving thanks to his earlier scream fest, he was beginning to quiet himself.  
  
"Albus it was Lucius. He took her right out from under me." Severus was breathless and Albus motioned for him to take a seat, which he did, and instinctively he began to rock back and forth in it. His eyes had taken on a completely new look and it seemed as if he were consumed with something.  
  
"I think it would be prudent to begin at the beginning. As you said, it was Lucius, and we both know that he won't kill her outright."  
  
"It doesn't matter. It's what he'll do with her in the meantime, Albus. I can't stand the thoughts of it."  
  
"Was there anyone with him?"  
  
"Three others. All deatheaters."  
  
"Did they see you?"  
  
"No."  
  
"And where did they take her."  
  
"Knockturn Alley. Albus what if she-"  
  
At that moment a great snowy owl flew through the window and landed atop Albus' desk. There was a letter tied to its leg with a piece of silver ribbon, which it was holding out to be untied. Albus took the ribbon and pulled, picked up the letter, and read the front.  
  
"It's for you, Severus,"  
  
Severus took the letter from Albus and turned it over. There on the back was the Malfoy seal in forest green wax. He cast a tentative glance up to the older wizard, and Albus nodded him on. Slowly, and with a trembling finger, Severus broke the seal and pulled out a single piece of parchment, folded three times. He unfolded it and began to read.  
  
"Severus -  
  
I have come across something I think you'll be infinitely interested in taking advantage of, so to speak. Please stop by the manor this evening and see. Send your reply with Hermes as soon as you can.  
  
Yours,  
  
Lucius"  
  
Severus looked disgusted and slapped the parchment down on the desk.  
  
"Ink, please. And a quill." Severus took the instruments that Albus lay before him and scrawled a quick reply.  
  
"Lucius -  
  
Will be there at seven this evening.  
  
S.S."  
  
He tossed the quill back into the inkwell and sat back in his chair, cradling Lucas silently. Albus read the note, folded it, and tied it back to the regal owl's leg, sending it off with an offer of water from Fawkes' dish. Then he turned and regarded Snape with a very serious expression.  
  
"You realize what this means, don't you?"  
  
Severus rolled his eyes and sighed heavily. He was beyond annoyance. He just kept his head down and focused all of his nervous energy on Lucas.  
  
"Of course I realize what this means, Albus. It means I'm going to have to go to Lucius' manor tonight and pretend that I have no morals and that I've never seen her and that - Gods, Albus. You know what Lucius does with his female captives. What he makes others do to them. I don't know if I can -" and then it happened. His eyes began to sting and his voice caught in his throat. "I don't know if I can do this."  
  
Albus sat silent for a very long time, regarding the man that had become like a son to him. His fingers were steepled under his chin and he seemed to be assessing the slightly aging wizard.  
  
"You must, Severus. Play along. It's the only way to get her back. And I'd wager that Lucas isn't the only man that needs her."  
  
"That's nonsense." Snape continued to stare down at Lucas' blonde head while he sucked quietly on his thumb.  
  
"Is it," Albus asked quietly. 


End file.
